Monthly Column
CAN YOU CHOOSE HAPPINESS?
My husband’s favorite motto is, “The days will go by whether you choose to do something with them or not.” “Do you mean that I can’t wait until Monday to start that diet?” I ask. I guess he’s right. Typically, for most of us, we wait until Monday to begin a task, however, Monday comes and goes and we are no closer to our goals than we were the Sunday night before. Then we browbeat ourselves. We give ourselves 50 lashes with a wet noodle and feel downright crummy for the remainder of the week. Just to feel better, we go out for an ice cream. That certainly does the trick. Now we can beat ourselves up even more for adding additional calories.
While this is not a column about dieting, this example certainly illustrates how we are our own worst enemies. We procrastinate, make excuses, lose the passion and then get depressed that nothing in our lives has changed. Well, I say, it is time to stand up and take action. We can indeed choose to be effective and happy each and every day of our lives. After all, the sun rises and sets. We awaken from and return to sleep. What happens in between affects how we perceive our lives. In other words, it is feeling good about the day-to-day activities, being connected to people, and apportioning time for ourselves which dictates our happiness or unhappiness. The question then becomes whether or not we can choose to be happy. I believe we can.
Here are some suggestions to get you started. First of all, I do not believe that good moods just happen. If we feel confident, competent, enjoy our jobs, and have a few good friends we are well on the way to contentment. Beginning each day with a smile, even if it is a half smile, helps tremendously. Appreciating what we have is also essential to happiness.
Getting a handle on stress will help to keep the doctor away and is a key to maintaining good health. I don’t know about you, but I know exactly where I hold my stress—it is in my neck. When I start to feel tightness there, it is an instant message that I’ve got to either change what is happening or manage it more effectively. Think about where stress settles in to your body. Some people complain of neck pain; some have headaches; others hold their stress in their stomachs, which can then lead to irritable bowel syndrome or other gastrointestinal disorders. Fibromyalgia is exacerbated by stress and is often brought about when we feel out of control. Others hold the stress in their backs. It is important to identify the stressors in your life. It is impossible to fight something that you do not know.
Start looking at the cup as being half full rather than half empty. Take an inventory of what you have going for you: a roof over your head, clothes on your back, a few good friends, a job, someone significant in your life, family. Count your blessings. Celebrate even the smallest of successes. Walk with your head high.
As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe stated, “There are eight requisites for contented living: health enough to make work a pleasure; wealth enough to support your needs; strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them; grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them; patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished; charity enough to see some good in your neighbor; faith enough to make real the things of God; hope enough to remove all anxious fear concerning the future.”